i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
