whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
