actually, I'm a sock model
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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