just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
