If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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