I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
