it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He shit in the fireplace
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
