i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
