I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
