I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
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She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
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She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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