Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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