she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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