I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
