Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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