I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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