If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
