So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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