one two three fourrrrnication!
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
