He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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