I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I think I just sharted jello shots
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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