It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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