Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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