This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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