i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
