she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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