My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
