Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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