I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
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