oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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