I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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