sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
