dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
FUCK WHALES
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
