Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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