Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
