Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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