The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Damn victory sex feels great
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
