Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
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