would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
