question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
