you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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