What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.