It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back