dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
