doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
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I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
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But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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