You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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