you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
