I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Damn victory sex feels great
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
