I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
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