thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
