Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
