He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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