I cockslap morals
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
