i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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