I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
