cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
