i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Randomize
