I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
where are my eyebrows?
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