Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?

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(317): View more from Indiana

The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules

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(630): View more from Illinois

between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before

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(407): View more from Florida

i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(250): View more from British Columbia

Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.

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(805): View more from California

She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.

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(303): View more from Colorado

The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.

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(541): View more from Oregon

Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence

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