Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence