they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
