you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Randomize
