my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Farmville is her only friend.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
