This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
