I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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