That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm like, not good at living.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
