was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
COCAINE IS GR8
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
