Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
