hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
