Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
This is the high leading the old right now
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
