I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
