...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
