wake up i wanna do it froggy style
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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