If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
