life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
