i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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